The ABC's of Bad Christian Parenting: Part Three

In this series of posts, we've been taking a closer look at the tragic mistakes Eli made in raising his sons, and the results of his failure to take a hands-on approach regarding their spiritual life. In part one, we learned that parents simply cannot assume their children will be spiritual, as if spiritual life is passed on like hair or eye color. In part two, we discovered that training up our children in the nurture and admonition of the LORD is a task that requires an active approach. If you aim at nothing, you'll be certain to hit it every time. That is why we must make it our goal to actively shape our children's spiritual life.

But here is a third mistake often made by Christian parents, one that can bring years of anguish to both child and parent:

C: Condone your children’s behavior to avoid controversy.

This parent foolishly thinks, “These problems will probably go away on their own. Besides, if I confront my child on his failures and sins—I’ll be forced to face my own.”

"Why do you kick at My sacrifice and My offering which I have commanded in My dwelling place, and honor your sons more than Me... (1 Sam. 2:29) For I have told him that I will judge his house forever for he iniquity which he knows, because his sons made themselves vile, and he did not restrain them." (1 Sam. 3:13)

Many questions surface as to why Eli didn’t take action in the midst of his sons’ wickedness. Perhaps Eli didn’t take more serious action because he was worried about the consequences. If his sons were blaspheming God, under Old Testament law they should have been stoned. Maybe he thought this was just a phase they were going through and perhaps the problem might go away on its own.

However, we see that God was not happy with Eli’s lay-low strategy. God spoke to Eli by the mouth of a prophet and rebuked him for condoning the ongoing sins of his sons. God was angry that Eli had shown preference for his sons above the Lord. Because of this sin on the part of Eli and his sons, God could not bless them—the sons were ultimately judged with death—and the priesthood was removed from the house of Eli forever.

What a reminder to us that sin is like a dandelion weed. If you ignore it and let it linger long enough—it will soon spread and contaminate the entire lawn. The point is when we see issues in the lives of our children that need to be addressed, we need to have enough moral courage to confront them in a loving but truthful way before it spreads and causes even more trouble.

If your child is going down a dangerous road, don’t just ignore it or think it will work itself out—ask the LORD for courage and seek to deal with it in a biblical way. But know this: if you’re going to deal with your child you better get ready to look in the mirror because our kids have highly attuned hypocrisy antennas. If you’re going to come to them with a spiritual issue your own life better be right before the LORD.