The ABC's of Bad Christian Parenting: Part Two

In this series of posts, we are discussing tragic mistakes that are often made by Christian parents in child-raising. In part one, we discovered that a common mistake made by many Christian parents is the assumption that their children will be spiritual by proxy. But here is a second common mistake many parents make in the realm of child-rearing ABC's:

B: Believe that your children will figure out spiritual things on their own.

This parent foolishly thinks, “I don’t want to force spiritual things or Christian living on my kids. I want them to come to it on their own.”

"Therefore the sin of the young men was very great before the LORD, for men abhorred the offering of the LORD... So he [Eli] said to them, 'Why do you do such things? For I hear of your evil dealings from all the people. No, my sons! For it is not a good report I hear..." 1 Samuel 2:17, 22-24a NKJV

Some might say that Eli gave a stern lecture to his sons in 1:22-25, but the truth is his words were a poor substitute for action. His sons were making a mockery of everything the priesthood of Israel was supposed to stand for. Certainly, with all that was going on Eli should have taken a more hands-on approach--- a more active role in insisting that his sons behave honorably as God-followers and as spiritual leaders.

As a pastor for the last ten years, I can’t tell you how many times I have heard a Christian parent say that they didn’t want to force spiritual things on their children. These are the parents who let their kids decide whether or not they want to attend worship services, go to Sunday school classes, or participate in youth group activities.

Listen, Dad and Moms—when your kids are living under your roof you are responsible for their welfare--- not just their food and their clothes and their shelter—but for their spiritual welfare as well! You make your kids brush their teeth, don’t you? You make them take showers and go to school and do their homework, don’t you? Why? Because you know that tremendous things are at stake in those matters! They might not want to brush their teeth, but not brushing teeth makes them go rotten and fall out—and there’s no going back!

The same principle applies with our kids and spiritual things. The Bible says plainly that spirituality in your children’s lives is not just theirs to choose—but yours to impart! Prov. 22:6 doesn’t say “Sit back and let your child choose the way he should go”—it says “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

We have a solemn responsibility to impart spiritual training to our children. We train them on how to take a shower, we train them on how to brush their teeth, and we must train them on how to obey and walk with God. If you think your children are going to come to it naturally on their own---not only are you ignorant of what the Bible says about the human heart, you are making a second tragic mistake when it comes to biblical parenting.

The ABC's of Bad Christian Parenting: Part One

The Apostle Paul writes in 1 Cor. 10:11 that God has given us the Scriptures, especially the narratives of the Old Testament, so that we might look on them and learn. Paul says, “Now all these things happened to them as examples, and they were written for our admonition…”

As you and I open the pages of God’s word, not only do we find positive spiritual role models which we can emulate--- we also encounter individuals who had serious failures and mis-steps—and from them we can learn what dishonors the LORD—and what not to do when it comes to our spiritual lives.

In this series of blog posts I want to consider the life experience of a father who made some flawed decisions in his parenting strategy which cost him a dear price—not only in his own life, but in the lives of his two sons as well. That father’s name was Eli, and his story is found in 1 Samuel chapters 2-4.

Looking at the example of Eli, what could we say are the A-B-C’s of bad Christian parenting?

A: Assume that your children are spiritual by proxy. (2:12)
This parent foolishly thinks, “I am spiritual, so of course my children are too.”

"Now the sons of Eli were corrupt; they did not know the LORD." 1 Samuel 2:12 NKJV

Eli was a priest for the LORD in Shiloh, he was a spiritual leader for the nation of Israel. He and his sons were in full time ministry—yet the Bible says plainly that his sons were completely corrupt, worthless, wicked men. They were appropriating the people’s sacrifices for themselves and sleeping with women who worked as servants in the tabernacle. So here we have a perfect example of a father who was dedicated to serving the LORD, in worship, in prayer, in reading of Scripture—and his children were far from the LORD.

Friends, that’s a powerful reminder to us that just because we know Christ and are spiritually minded--- doesn’t mean our kids are. God does not do salvation by proxy. In other words, just because you go to church and read your Bible and pray—doesn’t automatically mean your kids are going to be spiritual. Every parent needs to remember that their kids are sinners, with sinful hearts at enmity with God according to Jer. 17:9, and unless they come to know Christ by grace through faith personally--- they are still under Satan’s domination and due to receive God’s wrath.

You and I have a tremendous obligation expose our children to the gospel, so that they personally might come to know Christ and begin that spiritual growth process for themselves. Now, can we save our kids? Can we force them to believe on Christ or live a righteous life? No. But we can realize our responsibility to expose them to Christ and the way of salvation. Parents who assume their children are spiritual by proxy, make a critical mistake that can bring a lifetime of tragic consequences.

NCAA Tournament: Philadelphia

Late Wednesday night a local friend whose two boys I coached in rec-league basketball called to offer me four courtside tickets to the NCAA tournament in Philadelphia on Thursday. Since it was my day off, we took full advantage of these tickets... and we were not disappointed! Our seats were courtside---dead center--- fifth row. Wow. A college basketball fan's dream. Here are a few of my favorite pictures from yesterday plus a video:





Walker with ESPN/CBS Sports Jay Bilas.



Walker with Hall of Famer, Coach John Thompson









All in all, it was a great day-- and a chance to see my bracket picks advance in person!

The Destructive Power of Bitterness

Tragedy struck Samson, Alabama this week when 28-year-old Michael McLendon snapped and went on a shooting rampage that ended the lives of ten people, five of whom were Michael's own family members. At the end Michael turned the gun on himself and became the tenth person to die that day from a mortal gunshot wound. In a small town of roughly 2,000 people, Michael's violent actions left most of the townspeople shocked and in stunned disbelief. Many are openly expressing their wonder at how such a seemingly "quiet" person could go off on such a rampage of terror.

The answer was soon revealed as investigators uncovered Michael's hand-written "hit list"-- spiral notebook pages filled with the names of people who he believed had wronged him in the past. The list included former employers as well as former and present co-workers whom Michael felt had treated him harshly and unfairly. Even though their names did not appear in the written revenge list, it is now apparent that many of Michael's own family members were on the unwritten list being kept in his mind. Now, two-hundred gunshots later and the fallout of the worst killing spree in Alabama history, people are desperate to for answers to the all-consuming "Why?" question.

To me, the answer to the "why" question is unveiled as we consider the destructive power of bitterness.

Without a doubt, as we trace back the root of these tragic slayings-- we arrive at the heart of a man consumed with bitterness and revenge. Like a boiler under intense heat, this intense bitterness toward others continued to build up pressure until it finally exploded from this man's life in heinous acts of violence. When an individual seethes in hidden anger, muses on hurts from others, and quietly nurses private grudges--- Scripture warns that trouble is on the horizon. Hebrews 12:15 makes the vital connection between the "root of bitterness" springing up and the "trouble" that surely follows. In this case from Alabama, it was physical-- but in many cases the damage and the trouble is often spiritual in nature.

Christians and churches are not exempt from this trouble, because examples abound of believers who-- while not resorting to a gun or physical violence--- have assaulted another family member of the Body of Christ with a verbal tirade or an unholy, accusing outburst. I'll never forget the meeting I attended some years ago when two Christian brothers got into a heated discussion--- and going on the attack one of the men pulled out a tattered notebook and began to regurgitate hurtful comments made by the other Christian man from nearly ten years earlier. I remember going home that night stunned at the depth of that Christian's root of bitterness against his brother, and sorrowful at a schism that was still unresolved.

That is why the New Testament is replete with instructions for believers to put away every form of bitterness-- and conquer pains, sins, and hurts inflicted by others with healthy doses of love, patience, longsuffering, and forgiveness. Paul says explicitly in Ephesians 4:31-32: "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." Colossians 3:13 says likewise, "...bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do."

Bitterness has incredible destructive power, and there's little doubt Satan knows this. He has been using this unstoppable force in the hearts of unbelievers for millennia, and many lives have been left in a wake of death because of it. This week's tragedy in Alabama is just another example of the power of sinful bitterness left unchecked and unrestrained.

Christian, do you have a list of people--- written or unwritten-- that you're harboring bitterness against? Are you nursing some secret grudge? Know the truth that bitterness eventually leads to destruction--- most often your own. Thanks be to God, that through the power of the transforming gospel, we have the ability to put aside bitterness and choose forgiveness instead.

When you consider the end results---- the choice is easy.

Sin...A Little Thing?

"Beware of light thoughts of sin. At the time of conversion, the conscience is so tender, that we are afraid of the slightest sin. Young converts have a holy timidity, a godly fear lest they should offend against God. But alas! Very soon the fine bloom upon these first ripe fruits is removed by the rough handling of the surrounding world: the sensitive plant of young piety turns into a willow in after life, too pliant, too easily yielding.

It is sadly true, that even a Christian may grow by degrees so callous, that the sin which once startled him does not alarm him in the least. By degrees men get familiar with sin. The ear in which the cannon has been booming will not notice slight sounds. At first a little sin startles us; but soon we say, “Is it not a little one?”

Then there comes another, larger, and then another, until by degrees we begin to regard sin as but a little ill; and then follows an unholy presumption: “We have not fallen into open sin. True, we tripped a little, but we stood upright in the main. We may have uttered one unholy word, but as for the most of our conversation, it has been consistent.” So we palliate sin; we throw a cloak over it; we call it by dainty names.

Christian, beware how thou thinkest lightly of sin. Take heed lest thou fall by little and little. Sin, a little thing? Is it not a poison? Who knows its deadliness? Sin, a little thing? Do not the little foxes spoil the grapes? Doth not the tiny coral insect build a rock which wrecks a navy? Do not little strokes fell lofty oaks? Will not continual droppings wear away stones? Sin, a little thing? It girded the Redeemer’s head with thorns, and pierced his heart! It made him suffer anguish, bitterness, and woe.

Could you weigh the least sin in the scales of eternity, you would fly from it as from a serpent, and abhor the least appearance of evil. Look upon all sin as that which crucified the Saviour, and you will see it to be “exceeding sinful.”

Charles H. Spurgeon, "Morning and Evening" for today, March 11th AM.

One Trillion Dollars...A Visual

Do you have trouble trying to visualize all the numbers being bantered about in these government "stimulus" packages?  One million?  One billion?  How about one trillion?

Be sure to check out this site where the author-illustrator gives us an astounding visual of what one trillion dollars really looks like.  It's mind-boggling.

Oh, and by the way:  those are your dollars on display.

ESV Study Bible for Everyone

On March 1, 2009, Crossway, the publishers of the #1 best-selling English Standard Version Study Bible, announced that they are making the ESV Online Study Bible free to anyone for a limited time.

Until now, you had to purchase a hard-copy of the ESV Study Bible to get access to the online version, which includes mp3 Bible audio, full-color maps and illustrations, excellent charts, thousands of explanatory study notes, and dozens of excellent articles on theology and Bible study.

If you have never "tasted" the ESV before, I invite you to visit this site and use it as part of your Bible reading, devotional study, or small-group preparation. You'll soon discover why the ESV Study Bible has skyrocketed to number one!

For full access and free trial use of these features for one month, visit www.esvstudybible.org/online. Simply create a login and password. Email information will not be shared, nor will there be any obligation to purchase. This free trial offer expires March 31, 2009.

Farmer Builds World-Class Model of Biblical Temple

I came across this article in The Telegraph (UK) and was absolutely astounded at the craftsmanship this retired farmer has put into his model of the biblical temple--- over the last thirty years.

Read the article and be sure to view the slide show of pictures. You'll be amazed!

Have a great Tuesday.  Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice!